It happens that Josh Zagoren and I were roommates and still very good friends. Josh, which happens is a GREAT sketch comedy actor in Chicago (www.joshzagoren.com) posted a blog about squirrels which I replied. Hillarious? Maybe, at least I hear him, and for sure it is funny. here is the rl post from him, me, and a friend...
(This is a real blog)
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JOSH:
The Delicate Balance
Ok here's something, what's up with city squirrels? I'm from Iowa and the squirrels around there never stared me down into givin' up some popcorn. They knew what was goin' on and ran the hell away when I was coming down the street. They respected the delicate balance of nature: I'm bigger than you, walk away. But now, oh now they're bringin' it. Fine! Fine, have some nuts squirrel, eat 'em all! Fat up! I don't care! When I see a lion I'm gonna walk right up to it and do the same thing.
JODY:
I once went to a concert in Dallas where the musicians had been touring the city earlier that day. They came accross a squirrel hanging out on a tree. The furry little rodent was staring them down, so they started video taping it. Apparenty the squirrel didn't like this too much and jumped out at them and started chasing them. Of course the musicians continued to tape the occurance, but the cameraman tripped and dropped the camera.
What happened next was amazing.
The squirrel climbed on top of the camera. By now all you can see in the footage is his furry little tail hanging down...and some yellow liquid trickling down the lens.
That's right. The squirrel pissed on their camera. I ask you...where is the delicate balance?
AMBROSSY (ME):
Well, you must consider the atmosphere surrounding these squirrels. We all know in Dallas they are not know by being artistic. Why I should let somebody film me out of the blue because you find me cute. WTF?!?! We don't need to go down the laws in Dallas right? I am sure Dallas will gladly let squirrels have their own guns but well, they pee.
And come on, are you kidding me? Chicago has like THE BEST popcorn! I never EVER saw any city who made popcorn a real deal like Chicago. Chicago's popcorn is so glorified that there are lines in the sidewalk while snowing outside to get popcorn. It is so true it is unbelievable! So, down in Iowa they just have corn. Corn everywhere! You tell me to move? I will! Who cares! There's popcorn every 15 seconds down the road. But Chicago's popcorn? You bet I will pee on you and stuff my furry bushy tail wherever I need to until you give me that popcorn goddamit!
That, of course, if I was a squirrel.
You at least have squirrels, I think CA has none, if not very few. Probably vegans killed them thinking we will eat them in due course.
Damn vegans...
(This is a real blog)
**********************************************************************************************************************************
JOSH:
The Delicate Balance
Ok here's something, what's up with city squirrels? I'm from Iowa and the squirrels around there never stared me down into givin' up some popcorn. They knew what was goin' on and ran the hell away when I was coming down the street. They respected the delicate balance of nature: I'm bigger than you, walk away. But now, oh now they're bringin' it. Fine! Fine, have some nuts squirrel, eat 'em all! Fat up! I don't care! When I see a lion I'm gonna walk right up to it and do the same thing.
JODY:
I once went to a concert in Dallas where the musicians had been touring the city earlier that day. They came accross a squirrel hanging out on a tree. The furry little rodent was staring them down, so they started video taping it. Apparenty the squirrel didn't like this too much and jumped out at them and started chasing them. Of course the musicians continued to tape the occurance, but the cameraman tripped and dropped the camera.
What happened next was amazing.
The squirrel climbed on top of the camera. By now all you can see in the footage is his furry little tail hanging down...and some yellow liquid trickling down the lens.
That's right. The squirrel pissed on their camera. I ask you...where is the delicate balance?
AMBROSSY (ME):
Well, you must consider the atmosphere surrounding these squirrels. We all know in Dallas they are not know by being artistic. Why I should let somebody film me out of the blue because you find me cute. WTF?!?! We don't need to go down the laws in Dallas right? I am sure Dallas will gladly let squirrels have their own guns but well, they pee.
And come on, are you kidding me? Chicago has like THE BEST popcorn! I never EVER saw any city who made popcorn a real deal like Chicago. Chicago's popcorn is so glorified that there are lines in the sidewalk while snowing outside to get popcorn. It is so true it is unbelievable! So, down in Iowa they just have corn. Corn everywhere! You tell me to move? I will! Who cares! There's popcorn every 15 seconds down the road. But Chicago's popcorn? You bet I will pee on you and stuff my furry bushy tail wherever I need to until you give me that popcorn goddamit!
That, of course, if I was a squirrel.
You at least have squirrels, I think CA has none, if not very few. Probably vegans killed them thinking we will eat them in due course.
Damn vegans...
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