Or just sick.
This is one of those bits that I (and my co-witers) find really funny, but just about every one I have shown it to thinks it goes over the line. It will never be preformed, but I read it and smile :)
Take a look guys, let me know what you think
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FAST FOOD
Doctor Buster Hymen enters.
Hymen: Hi. I’m doctor Buster Hymen, OBGYN and Nutritionist. Many people today are concerned about food and food safety. What’s good for you? What diet is good for your health? What food products are safe to feed to your children? What about salmonella? Clogged arteries? Staff? Mad Cow? Dysentery? Pink eye? What if I told you that there was a bountiful, healthy, untapped, food resource available to every American at dollar menu prices?
Mom and Dad have entered.
Dad: That sounds good to me AND my pocketbook!
Mom: If only my kids would eat healthy! I wish there was a quick and easy fast food alternative!
Dad: That sounds good to me AND my pocketbook!
Hymen: Well, have I got good news for you.
Mom: Please fucking tell us! We’re eager!
Hymen: Good news! There’s a new player in the fast food market!
He pulls out a bucket on his hand with a cloth over it. Mom and Dad get closer, about to dive in.
Hymen: Kentucky Fried Fetus!
Mom and Dad: What?!
Hymen: To tell you more about this exciting new leap in fast food technology allow me to introduce our official spokesman, Frankie the Franchisee Fetus!
Frankie comes out covered in goo with an umbilical chord boa, holding a twisted coat hanger.
Frankie: Hey Ho Ho! Howdy kids! I’m Frankie the Franchisee Fetus I’m the aborted sensation that’s sweeping the nation! The unwanted blob that tastes good in your gob! I’m the flushed fruit from your womb that makes your taste buds bloom!
Mom: Wow my ovaries are watering! Sounds delicious!
Hymen: And with abortion clinics around the country just throwing this stuff away we can pass the savings on to you!
Dad: That’s sounds good for me AND my pocket book!
Mom: But is it healthy for me and my children?
Frankie: Hey Ho Ho! Haven’t you heard about the magical properties of Stem Cells? It’s like wheat grass and yoga except it’s a delicious crispy dead baby!
Hymen: And it’s Atkins approved!
Frankie: Hey Ho Ho! Coming in your home town soon at your local Kentucky Fried Fetus Franchise, roasted garlic placenta polenta, stillborn salad and cracklin’ hot crack baby pop corn fetus!
Hymen: Only $3.99 for the super duper dumpster bucket!
Dad: That sounds good for me AND my…
Mom: Shut the fuck up and eat the fetus!
Hymen: Kentucky Fried Fetus, bringing families closer together, one beer battered baby at a time!
FIN.
This is one of those bits that I (and my co-witers) find really funny, but just about every one I have shown it to thinks it goes over the line. It will never be preformed, but I read it and smile :)
Take a look guys, let me know what you think
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FAST FOOD
Doctor Buster Hymen enters.
Hymen: Hi. I’m doctor Buster Hymen, OBGYN and Nutritionist. Many people today are concerned about food and food safety. What’s good for you? What diet is good for your health? What food products are safe to feed to your children? What about salmonella? Clogged arteries? Staff? Mad Cow? Dysentery? Pink eye? What if I told you that there was a bountiful, healthy, untapped, food resource available to every American at dollar menu prices?
Mom and Dad have entered.
Dad: That sounds good to me AND my pocketbook!
Mom: If only my kids would eat healthy! I wish there was a quick and easy fast food alternative!
Dad: That sounds good to me AND my pocketbook!
Hymen: Well, have I got good news for you.
Mom: Please fucking tell us! We’re eager!
Hymen: Good news! There’s a new player in the fast food market!
He pulls out a bucket on his hand with a cloth over it. Mom and Dad get closer, about to dive in.
Hymen: Kentucky Fried Fetus!
Mom and Dad: What?!
Hymen: To tell you more about this exciting new leap in fast food technology allow me to introduce our official spokesman, Frankie the Franchisee Fetus!
Frankie comes out covered in goo with an umbilical chord boa, holding a twisted coat hanger.
Frankie: Hey Ho Ho! Howdy kids! I’m Frankie the Franchisee Fetus I’m the aborted sensation that’s sweeping the nation! The unwanted blob that tastes good in your gob! I’m the flushed fruit from your womb that makes your taste buds bloom!
Mom: Wow my ovaries are watering! Sounds delicious!
Hymen: And with abortion clinics around the country just throwing this stuff away we can pass the savings on to you!
Dad: That’s sounds good for me AND my pocket book!
Mom: But is it healthy for me and my children?
Frankie: Hey Ho Ho! Haven’t you heard about the magical properties of Stem Cells? It’s like wheat grass and yoga except it’s a delicious crispy dead baby!
Hymen: And it’s Atkins approved!
Frankie: Hey Ho Ho! Coming in your home town soon at your local Kentucky Fried Fetus Franchise, roasted garlic placenta polenta, stillborn salad and cracklin’ hot crack baby pop corn fetus!
Hymen: Only $3.99 for the super duper dumpster bucket!
Dad: That sounds good for me AND my…
Mom: Shut the fuck up and eat the fetus!
Hymen: Kentucky Fried Fetus, bringing families closer together, one beer battered baby at a time!
FIN.
posted by:
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SF Bay Area
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Re: Is it funny?
12/29It's definitely a hair over the top... :)
I give you credit for finding all of the potential punchlines out of the premise, but it almost comes across as shocking for the simple sake of being shocking.
And for the record, it's 'Staph'... :)
Your friendly editor,
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Re: Is it funny?
12/29It does kinda smack you in the face on a wednesday morning don't it?
Thanks for the input Mat, as always. -
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Re: Is it funny?
12/29Come on "cracklin ’hot crack baby pop corn fetus" is funny!
I think -
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Re: Is it funny?
12/29The phrase "popcorn fetus" has a lot of potential, but the "crack baby" part is overembellishment. And to be honest, I have that problem with the whole skit. There's something good in there and it could become worth actually performing on stage...but you're overselling it and trying way too hard. The more sick and/or outrageous the concept, the more conservative you should be about the execution so that you don't muddy the central idea. And also, the audience takes anything that smacks of desperation or overeagerness to be shocking as a sign of weakness. -
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Re: Is it funny?
12/29Great input Richard.
Yes the skit is flawed in many, many ways. It is over the top, sick, offensive, and not something our troop could (or should) do live.
You bring up some great points about the structure though, nice work.
The reason I posted it here, is cause I haven't been able to get it out of my head. I wrote it a while ago, and still every time I read it I fucking die.
Hey, I guess it is kinda like those parents, who have really ugly kids, but they still enter them in beauty pageants. Yes, a sketch only a mother could love :-)
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Re: Is it funny?
12/29wait, you had to stop cause it was too funny? Or did you have to go throw up? -
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Re: Is it funny?
12/29I think this is the funniest sketch ever! It must be performed. Of course I'm saying that cause I helped write it, but hey genius is genius..... -
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Re: Is it funny?
12/29>but hey genius is genius.....
So, when are you going to post the Genius' sketch?
;)
Matthew "All-The-World's-A-Straight-Man" Kelty
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Re: Is it funny?
01/09I like it... BUT it has to be FAST PACED and performed with the usual extra gooy squeesy cheese that people like so much... The kind that doesn't go bad on the shelf for 5,000 years... cus it has a half life and glows in the dark... That fast...
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Re: Is it funny?
01/10It's sick AND funny.
On it's own it's "Sick and Twisted" Animation Festival fodder, and would make a great stylized animation short. Edgy things like this are a lot more palatable by general public when they are animated.
However, it might be one step over the top for nightclub audiences. A live performace of this might smacks you in the face...there is no safe place hiding from the fact that you are laughing at eating dead fetuses. Only a certain audience will laugh at that "as it."
However, if you throw another sketch around it as a framing device to show it as "very inappropriate" then you can give yer audience a safety net to laugh at it...
Maybe the fast food industry execs are choosing a new food campaign and are taking bids from different Ad companies...the first one or two submissions are lame and vanilla...thing "I'm Lovin' it. The last submission is this rogue ad company who submits "Kentucky Fried Fetus" commercial.
Or an ad company is facing a deadline for a new ad campaign and decide to try and lock themselves in a room and take peyote or mushrooms "to increase their creativity and tap into their personal muse." and the KFF commercial is what comes out.
The big thing is too give someone or a group of people on stage that looks on with shock and horror at the inappropriateness of the material. This gives Joe Six-Pack who is watching the sketch the escape valve that "yes, we know that this material is edgy and over the top...yer not the only one here that is thinking it." He can then laugh at the whole situation as well as the sick and twisted punchlines...
The stick-in-the-mud straightmen, in a way, justify on the audiences uncomfortableness, and allow them to let it go and give them permission to laugh at "inappropriate" material.
Especially if the person who is delivering the inappropriate material plays it like he can't possibly see what is wrong with it...this allows you to give the best damn line I heard in this thread...
"Come on 'cracklin ’hot crack baby pop corn fetus' is funny..........I think."
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Re: Is it funny?
01/10fucking tribes and their lack of an edit button...I guess you'll have to struggle through that post, typos and all while I retake third grade English.
bah
-b -
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Re: Is it funny?
01/10no worries Bryce. You had to put up with the typos in the sketch
Great notes man! Richard also sent me some rewrite suggestions. I really like it, it is a lot different the the other stuff I have written.
If I could get this animated...ah it would be a shoe in. It is so true, that you can get away with more when it is a cartoon. Maybe I could try puppets?
Hmm
It my be a back burner sketch for a while. We are still smoothing out the rough edges on the stuff that WILL be in our show. -
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Re: Is it funny?
01/10I have both claymation and puppetry experience. Just sayin', is all. -
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Re: Is it funny?
01/10really!?!
hmmm, maybe after my shows, I will have to look in to this
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